


Re-Framing the Conversation

by Rjslpets



Series: Therapeutic Conversations [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Therapy is Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2018-12-23 22:56:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11999664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rjslpets/pseuds/Rjslpets
Summary: You can't change other people; you only can change how you see them.Steve moves forward with therapy.





	1. Changing the Frame

**Author's Note:**

> OK - I think I am moving beyond blind fury at everyone during CA:CW. However, I was struggling with how to express this in fiction. Tony can do so much with his power and influence. And I see that in stories. But I am left struggling with what can Steve Rogers do to show that he had learned and grown. So I came up with this approach which is based on techniques that my therapist gave me and I found actually do work quite well.

“I’ve apologized but it hasn’t made any difference.” It was a change that Steve wasn’t angry; instead he seemed almost defeated. It was an unusual look on the superhero’s face. Not that Dr. Bortich was surprised. Steve’s attempts to resolve relations with Tony Stark had been an on-going drama. The therapist would have classed it as a dysfunctional family drama and given it a C rating for its too-predictable twists and turns. However, Steve had never indicated that he wanted to seek any alternative strategies. This was the first time that he thought Steve might actually be open to listening to some advice.

“Apologies do not guarantee forgiveness and, even if he has forgiven you, that doesn’t mean he wants to be your friend again.” They had had many conversations about this aspect before and it was interesting that this time, Steve did not push back. Before he had always objected to the idea that the person wronged was the one who choose how to go forward, at least in the specific case of Tony Stark. However, regardless of anything else, Steve had finally come to acknowledge that he had wronged Tony by concealing the knowledge of the Starks’ murders from him. So  the soldier might be open to discussing a different way forward. “You can’t change what Tony does – we can never change other people. But you can change how you look at the situation and that can change how you feel about it and _that_ change will reflect in your actions. How you see the situation and how you react is entirely under your control.”

It was a sign of the progress Steve had been making that he didn’t immediately start replying but sat and considered what the therapist had said. “OK, I can see that I can’t make Tony do anything. But I’m not sure about the rest – I mean, if I get frustrated with Tony, isn’t that how I feel? You keep telling me that feelings need to be respected.” Well, that statement would get a comment on the notes for this session.

“You are right about emotions, but, Steve, you can set yourself up to see a situation positively or negatively and that can change how you feel in the situation itself. I can give you an example from my own life. When I was a resident, I worked with a colleague who I found annoying. She wasn’t a bad person, but, I guess you could say our chemistry wasn’t right. I could have allowed that irritation to influence my framing of her behavior by thinking “Oh, she’s annoying” every time we interacted. If I had done that, I would have found everything she did annoying and I would have become increasingly frustrated at having to deal with her. That would have eventually affected _how_ I acted.”

“So what did you do?”

“I consciously reframed how I saw her. I forced myself to notice only her positive attributes, like the fact that patients responded really well to her voice. I still wasn’t friends with her, but I didn’t progress to dislike. Instead, I was able to treat her with courtesy and without frustration. It was easier for both of us. But she didn’t change; I changed my framing of the situation and that changed everything for me.”

“OK” he could see Steve gather himself up and get ready now that he had an action that he could take, “how would I go about doing this?”

“Well, why don’t we start by you listing Tony Stark’s good points; the parts of his character that you like or admire.”

The soldier thought for a minute, “Tony is very generous, although he can be careless about his wealth and give too much. He’s a hero; he really tries to protect everyone from whatever he can; even if that means that he tries to do everything himself and that leads to trouble. He so smart – I mean, he’s a genius! He does so many amazing things, but he never stops to think through anything. He’s just so reckless and moves so fast that everything easily goes wrong.”

There was a moment of silence after Steve finished. “Steve, have you ever heard the term ‘negging’?” Dr. Bortich asked. He went on without waiting for an answer (they both knew that modern slang was not Steve’s strong point), “This is actually an excellent example of how your perception of someone can influence what you say and do without you being aware of it. I asked you to list Tony’s good traits and you said that he was selfless, generous and smart.” Steve nodded, and Dr. Bortich continued, “But you added a negative dimension to every item. For example, you said Tony was generous, but then immediately added that he was too generous. He’s a hero but he only relies on himself and that causes problems. He’s smart but reckless. Every positive is immediately followed by a negative.”

“But it’s all true.”

“It’s your interpretation. You can’t know how Tony (or anyone really) thinks or what their motivations are so you have to decide on an interpretation. We all have to for every interaction we have with other people. You decided to have a negative one of Tony, evidenced by the negative conditions on all his positive traits, and that is a choice.  You've created a frame in your mind that his actions are arising predominantly from his worse character traits, even his better actions. Which means that you are suspicious of everything he says and does – so then you get angry at his actions since you see them as arising from a bad place.” Steve didn’t respond to this but he still seemed to be listening, so the therapist continued, “Looking at how you frame other people’s actions is an extension of the work that we have been doing with flexibility and empathy. Remember how you practiced doing things new to you to expand how you saw the world?”

“Yeah, it worked too. Everybody commented on it. Natasha was surprised that I had read any Derrida and surprising Natasha is next to impossible. Could we come up with some exercises to help with this framing? I really don’t like the way that Tony and I keep going round in circles and how angry I am.”

The therapist smiled, “Of course we can. And I’m proud of you for deciding to tackle this. It won’t be easy since you have to catch yourself doing things that are kind of ingrained in your head. Like running the same path every day. But there are several exercises that you can do to help.”

Steve felt much better when he left the therapist’s office. He always felt better when he had actions to take and Dr. Bortich had given him quite a few to complete before the next session. He was to write a list of Tony’s positive attributes without any negatives and then read it carefully at least once a day. Dr. Bortich had also suggested that he try and not complain about the situation between him and Tony to anyone outside of therapy (“It’s just wearing down a path in your mind each time you complain and take no action”). Finally, the therapist had encouraged him to try and consciously find something positive in any interaction he had with Tony. With concrete plans and work to be accomplished, Steve felt invigorated and ready to try again.


	2. Gossip, Suits and Peanut Butter Brownies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries out the therapist's suggestions and is surprised by the results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is based on something that happened to me when I first tried reframing and it really was this dramatic. Once you get conscious of the negativity, you suddenly see it everywhere. 
> 
> Also, I am introducing another OC who I really like. She popped up in a snippet and I just thought "Wow, a superhero who wasn't messed up or young and stupid." So I hope you like the little glimpse.

The Man with the plan stereotype was not, Steve reflected, really false. He did do better when he had a definite series of actions to accomplish. It was one of the reasons that he got on so well with Dr. Bortich; the therapist was always prepared with specific actions for him to take to achieve his goals. And Steve always followed through, even when he didn’t understand the point or see any progress. This situation with Tony was just another example. Steve was not happy about the distance that he seemed unable to bridge. For quite a while, he had believed that he was right and viewed Tony as being stubborn and selfish. This had been comforting, but also, Steve realized (with the good Doctor’s help), ultimately self-serving. While his aims might have been good and his objections valid, his actions had been badly thought out and had caused a great deal of unnecessary damage.

Of course, there was some question about his objections and aims as well. Over the period of time that he and his team had been in hiding, there had been a lot of analysis of the Accords and discussions of its history. Turned out that the majority of the document had nothing to do with the Avengers; it was a carefully developed framework of treaties to allow a coordinated response by the world’s militaries to a possible invasion of the Earth and had been started following the invasion of New York. The section that dealt with the Avengers had been added in after the events in Sokovia and finalized after Lagos. Steve found that he didn’t have a problem with the majority of the Accords, mostly as they didn’t have anything to do with him. However, his objections to the Avengers section did, he realized with relief, have some validity. And his desire to protect Bucky, well, that he didn’t regret. How he had gone about it, on the other hand, he could recognize in hindsight that he had been emotionally compromised and not making good decisions.

He had always been aware that his behavior towards Tony in this whole mess had been…not good. His mother had told him repeatedly that if he wouldn’t want his actions looked at in the light of day, he was doing wrong. And he had a hard time looking straight at his behavior towards Tony. Not their disagreement about the Accords, but his personal behavior; he had lied and deceived and there was no way to paint that picture as good. So, he wanted Tony to forgive him and accept his apology. Moreover, he missed Tony. They had always had a weird complementary relationship; Tony’s modernity drove Steve crazy but also anchored him in the present. Steve thought that Tony found his certainty calming in the whirlwind that was the billionaire’s life. They had been brilliant in battle and had managed to lead the team together more successfully than anyone would have guessed. Without Tony to poke and prod, Steve found that he was withdrawing from engaging with the world he found himself in. Sam was a good friend, but he didn’t push Steve past his comfort levels, even when he really needed that.

All of this was why he had sent the letter and the phone. Of course, now that he had been over the letter with Dr. Bortich, he could see that it hadn’t helped his cause (for crisssake’s why had he written “I put my trust in individuals and they haven’t let me down” to an individual he had lied to and abandoned?). But the actions had arisen out of his need to restore his relationship with Tony. And it hadn’t worked. Sure, the Avengers were all back, but Tony had made it clear that their relationship was purely professional, just teammates and nothing else. Ironman attended practices and briefings, but Tony avoided any interaction and cut off all other communications. And it hurt, a lot. It was also frustrating and Steve knew he dealt badly with frustration. And that brought him back to the exercises that the therapist had suggested.

He had spent about an hour one night writing the list of Tony’s good qualities. He had then spent _another_ hour editing the list. It wasn’t that he couldn’t list the billionaire’s good qualities; he had amassed a pretty good set. It was that he had, without realizing it, put in a lot of negative comments. It was exactly what the therapist had pointed out and, somehow, it hit Steve more when he saw it written out in his own hand. For example, he had put “generous, even inappropriately so” and when he reread it, he tried to think of what had made him add the last phrase. He remembered the story Pepper had told him about the giant rabbit, but she had told Steve the story with a happy fondness. So why had Steve written so negatively? And so it went throughout the list.

The morning after he had written the list, he carefully reread it after his post-run shower. With his eidetic memory, he really didn’t need to reread, but he understood that the act of reading the list kept it in the front of his mind. And it made a difference. He went to breakfast with the list in his thoughts. Clint and Natasha were already in the kitchen. He knew that Sam would be down in another few minutes (he always took longer than Steve did after the run to clean up). They were looking at a tablet, reading through the morning news, Steve assumed. When he entered, Clint looked up.

“Hey Cap, wanna see the latest gossip on Stark?” He swiveled the tablet around and Steve saw a picture of Tony with an expensive looking woman on his arm. The caption read, “TONY STARK seen at gala with model LYDIA SMALL. Could this be a new relationship for STARK? This is the third time the couple have attended events together.” The weird use of caps made Steve’s artist eye wince. He knew who the woman was of course. He had heard Tony and Rhodes discussing her; Tony seemed to have an agreement with her that she would be his date to events. She was also, according to what Steve had overheard, pursuing a doctoral degree in neurochemistry and didn’t bore Tony to tears.

Clint meanwhile continued his observation on Tony’s social life with a fairly crude comment. Natasha reached out and hit the archer on the back of the head. When he glared at her, she gestured to Steve and said, “You know Steve doesn’t appreciate language like that. And neither do I, especially at breakfast.” She then turned to Steve, “Ignore Clint. He is taking advantage of not being around his kids. Stark’s love life is not really suitable for any family-friendly discussions.” Steve figured that they had interpreted his frown as disapproval of the language. Actually, he was uncomfortable about the way they were discussing Tony’s life. As he made himself some eggs, he found himself running conversations within the team through his mind. Where they always this negative about Tony? After all, there was no reason for Tony not to date anyone he wanted, so why the rude comments?

He sparred the second day with Scott, part of an attempt to improve everyone’s combat skills, especially those who depended on technology. Steve generally enjoyed these sessions. It was fun to teach and Scott was funny, always ready to poke fun at himself. And Scott was doing that, but he was also talking about Tony Stark. Before, Steve wouldn’t have paid much attention, but with the prior morning experience in his mind, he was listening more closely. He knew that Scott and Tony were both engineers but he hadn’t realized that they were having interactions beyond what was required on the field. Apparently, Tony was training Scott in maintenance on the Avengers’ weapons, like Sam’s wings. It made sense to Steve to have Scott as a backup and he said so. Scott’s response had been, “Well, yeah, but I think he just doesn’t want to be bothered – with us, I mean. He never lets me into his main lab…we just work in mine. There’s a lot he’s doing that he doesn’t discuss with anyone or let anyone see and that’s kinda weird.”

Steve might have agreed with him before the whole reframing exercise, but now, doubts were creeping in. “Well, Tony works on a lot of Stark Industries stuff and that would be proprietary, wouldn’t it?”

“Maybe, but he’s just sneaky about it.” Steve suddenly remembered that Sam had met Scott when Scott was trying to steal from Stark Industries and let the conversation wander into other areas. But he was curious if just his teammates were talking this way or if everyone did. If everyone talked this way, then maybe there was something to all the negative comments.

He had a chance to test out this theory later the same day. He was doing hand-to-hand combat training with one of the new members of the Avengers, a woman who went by the code name Structure and whose real name was Wendy Bant. She was older than most of the others and her abilities were manipulating infrastructure; she had volunteered under some section of the Accords and spent most of her time in the field in a trance, preventing buildings from collapsing. He liked Wendy as she was no-nonsense and worked hard at her lessons, even though, at nearing fifty-five, she found them difficult.

That day, she was wearing a new combat suit. Steve didn’t need her to tell him that it was Stark-made. She was twisting around, testing its give as she came up to him. Seeing him eyeing it, she said, “Mr. Stark brought it by yesterday. He keeps worrying about me in the field, what with the trances and all.” One of the drawbacks to Structure’s ability was the fact that in order to use it, she entered into a trance that made her unaware of her surroundings. Combined with the fact that she had to be in close proximity to whatever she was trying to stabilize, the lack of awareness made her field operations very hazardous. As Steve understood it, she had mostly been deployed for emergency and disaster response because of those limitations. “He says that it’s bullet-proof, fire-proof and, he is hoping, energy proof – although I have no idea what he means by that. It’s actually pretty comfortable. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to sit in it for long periods of time, but Mr. Stark thought of that. I promised him my peanut butter brownies as a thank you. I don’t think it’s enough, but he started a fight with Col. Rhodes by preemptively refusing to share.” She grinned up at him as she stepped on the mat. Steve grinned back; he had been present at the last peanut butter brownie fight and it had been epic. Once he had tasted one of the brownies, he had realized the fight was more than justified. So Wendy didn’t seem to have a negative view of Tony.

And so it went throughout that day and the following three until his next therapy appointment. Steve was talking before he even got settled with coffee in Dr. Bortich’s office. “They all were acting the same – my whole team! Even Sam made a comment about Tony being flaky when Tony missed a team exercise. And he heard Tony say that he had to go to a meeting in the city! I pointed that out and Sam acted like that was a euphemism! I don’t even understand…” he paused and then went on, “I mean, I always knew that Wanda didn’t like him, but I never really listened to how she talks about him. We have been over and over what happened to her and she knows that blaming Tony is irrational, but she still talks about him like he spends his days eating babies and kicking puppies!”

“I am assuming that the exercises to produce a positive frame for viewing Tony Stark have been productive?” At the question, Steve actually deflated, sinking back in the couch that was the only piece of furniture in the office that could easily accommodate his frame.

“I guess…” he replied, “I certainly never realized how everyone sounds. No wonder Tony doesn’t spend all that much time with any of us. And it probably also explains why Vision is so rarely around. Wanda has complained about it and I thought I would talk to Vision but after listening to everyone the last few days _I_ don’t want to spend that much time with them.”

“I have to say, I didn’t realize how ingrained a negative framing of Tony Stark was among your teammates. If I had, I would have talked through this possibility with you. One of the outcomes of becoming conscious of your own framing is that you can become sensitive to other people’s. How did you react to these incidents? Did you express any discomfort to your friends?”

Steve hesitated and then replied, “I didn’t really say anything. At first, I thought that I was seeing something that might not be there. I know that I’m not the best at figuring out why people are acting the way they are – if it’s different from what I’m thinking. And then I couldn’t think of what to say. I mean, they weren’t any different; I was the one who changed.”

“It’s totally reasonable for you to spend some time thinking about how you want to proceed. The way that you and your team view Tony can’t be a recent thing. I know that Wanda, for example, has always had a negative view of Tony Stark. I am guessing that no one on the team ever talked to her about her attitude?”

“Well, Rhodes talked to me once about her behavior…” Steve winced at the memory of that conversation. Rhodes might have respected him as Captain America, but the Colonel outranked him and had far more combat and command experience. If War Machine had been with the Avengers full time, Steve doubted he would have maintained his position as leader. Rhodes had come to him soon after Tony had stepped back. He had asked Steve to talk to Wanda about her attitude to Tony, which was very frosty. When Steve had made some comment about Wanda’s issues and her past, Rhodes had crisply pointed out that all of them were living on Tony’s dime and that require politeness to the man if nothing else. The Airforce officer had strongly implied, Wanda could find herself another source of support if Tony offended her so. “I did talk to her, but considering that I probably made it sound like Tony’s problem, I don’t think it had a lot of effect. Although she stopped being outright rude. The problem is that the whole team is so fragile right now. How do I address this without causing even more issues?”

“It’s a large issue.” The therapist agreed, “But I don’t think you should attack it all at once. I would encourage you to concentrate on your framing first. My guess is that you are already changing your behavior and that might have more influence on everyone than anything you could say. It has only been less than a week after all.  Why don’t we continue with the exercises for another week and see what happens?”

He had a point. The Avengers were still finding their feet after his group had come back to the facility. There were a number of new members; many of whom he hadn’t really interacted with yet. And Steve knew that diving into situations without taking time to observe or think things through was one of his weaknesses; he would take another week to try and determine if he was seeing what he thought he was and what actions he should take.

Dr. Bortich was relieved by Steve’s agreement to take another week. He knew that when people were introduced to tools in therapy, the temptation was to apply them to everyone in the patient’s life, except the patient. He thought that the others probably did have a very negative view of Tony Stark and that it was a problem for the Avengers as a whole. But he didn’t want that larger problem to distract Steve from the work he needed to do on himself. Reframing was a powerful tool and there were other areas of Steve’s life where it would be valuable; if he could successfully apply it and see results. Let Steve work on himself first and then they could deal with everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos feed the muse and keep her prodding me. Oh, and the recipe for peanut butter brownies on the Smitten Kitchen website are to die for!
> 
> As for the mention of the Accords, I made that up although it seems logical. The UN already has a group that is working on how the world would open diplomatic relations with an alien race. How to coordinate against a hostile one is a natural outreach of the work they already do.


	3. Evil Santa Elves and Playing Catcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ironman goes on a mission with his old team. In the aftermath, Steve tries to apply his new techniques.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you all enjoy this chapter which actually takes place NOT in a therapist's office!

Steve rubbed his hand over his face and then cursed silently when he realized that he had smeared the dirt from his hands all over himself. The fight had been a long one and unusually stressful as it had been the first time that his team had fought with Ironman since they had come back. It hadn’t even been planned out; they got the call and they needed Ironman as an additional heavy hitter to deal with the threat. They didn’t even have time to talk before they were all deployed and, while the rest of them were on the quinjet, Ironman was flying in from the city, so Steve had just called out an objective for everyone and they had landed at the chemical plant to battle someone who was trying to…do something bad? Steve huffed; they hadn’t even had information on what was going on other than “people are trying to blow up a chemical plant in Delaware.” What a mess.

He had arranged their roles on the coms when going in and everyone had pretty much told him where they were. He, Natasha and Wanda had gone in on the ground while Clint had been dropped on the roof by a silent Ironman and was moving over the rafters that gave him a wide view. Sam was hovering outside near the roof until he figured out that the main floor of the chemical plant was over three stories tall which gave him scope to move indoors. Ironman had blasted a hole in the roof to let himself in and confuse the enemy; he had also been giving the team information from (Steve assumed) FRIDAY and the plant management on the physical environment and possible goals of the attack.

The group (who had been dressed in ludicrous red and green outfits that Clint had commented looked like they were out of a1960s Batman TV show) had turned out to be better armed and organized than their appearance indicated. They had already seeded snipers in the roof (so Ironman’s big hole was more useful than Steve had initially thought as it had dislodged a significant number of the snipers) and that had made it more difficult for Sam to help them on the ground. The holiday-themed villains had started destabilizing the whole plant when they realized that the Avengers had appeared. They had some sort of weapon that could blast straight through steel and concrete. Which had escalated into a major problem when Clint ran out of rafter thirty feet up. He had called out for assistance. Generally Steve’s options for Clint catching were Sam and Wanda. The problem with Sam is that he couldn’t really carry anyone too far and they would have landed in a shooting gallery at the center of the room. Wanda was still having problems dividing her attention between catching something and situational awareness. So Steve had called Tony and Tony had answered that he would get there as soon as he could…

In the end, Tony had managed to catch Clint before he hit the floor, but only at the cost of wrenching the archer’s shoulder as Tony caught him just before he hit the ground. So Clint was probably out of commission for 2-3 weeks. Tony had flown off once they had successfully apprehended the villains and prevented their plan to release poisonous gas all over Delaware, thus distracting the Avengers from the planned heist in New York (and really, there was more than one team now – did they not know that?).

Clint was bitching before they were wheels up. Not that Steve could blame him; a shoulder injury was always frightening for the archer. At the best, it would mean he would be out of action for weeks; at the worst, it could be career ending. But Clint was specifically blaming Tony for his injury and that didn’t seem fair to Steve. It was true that Ironman had been delayed in reaching Clint, but it wasn’t as if any of the rest of them had been available either. He noticed, with the now usual discomfort, that most of the team seemed to agree with Clint. When the bitching got to a level of vitriol that Steve could see was making the Accords-assigned pilot uncomfortable, he told everyone to save it until they got to the debrief.

*********

Tony was talking to Rhodey, “Honeybear!  I am perfectly capable of getting through a debrief with them! We got to the chemical plant. We got rid of the weirdly dressed people – seriously, what are they evil Santa elves? And only minor injuries. Meanwhile, you brilliantly headed off their attack in New York. Joy to the world.”

“I heard that Barton got hurt and may be out for a while.” Was the non-committal reply.

“His shoulder got wrenched. The medic on-site didn’t think it was more than a muscle strain, so I am counting that as minor. We can always bring Kate in to cover if they need someone else.”

“Well, Falls is going to be conducting the briefing.”

“Why in heaven is the Director of the Avengers Program attending a debrief for a minor action? Seriously, Platypus, I’m Ironman. I can deal with cranky superheroes.”

“No one said you couldn’t. But Falls is concerned about the coordination behind the attacks and he wants to be in on both debriefs. That means you have time to come to medical and get checked out since your debrief has been pushed back by six hours. Also,” Rhodey voice was more serious now, “the pilot from the quinjet apparently sent a recording of all of them blaming you for Barton’s injury. It was pretty vicious, Tones.”

Once, Tony reflected, he would have been feeling pretty guilty about the delay in catching Barton and hearing them blaming him would have cemented the idea that he was responsible for the damage. Now, however, “I was rescuing civilians who take priority over Barton’s recklessness. Besides, I wasn’t on the team to be his catcher.”

“I know!” Rhodey answered, “Have you been watching the video of their last few missions? The man has a death wish or something. If Steve doesn’t do something (“Which he won’t” interrupted Tony, Rhodey continued without pausing), I’m going to have to pull Barton and put him in counseling.”

*********

Although he didn’t say it out loud, Steve was glad the debrief was delayed. He wanted some time to look over what had happened. After his shower, he settled into his desk chair in his suite and asked the new Compound AI, JOCASTA, for information. “JOCASTA, could you please show me all the footage from the body cams, any surveillance footage and…” he thought for a moment, “if FRIDAY can share it, any footage from Ironman’s recordings.” He knew that the suit had integrated cameras; had had them long before it became mandatory for all Avengers to wear them in battle. JOCASTA was nowhere near as talkative as JARVIS or FRIDAY (Steve didn’t want to really think on why this AI from Tony was so taciturn or if that was only when she dealt with him), so his only answer were the holographic screens that sprang to life showing him the battle from multiple angles.

He carefully went through the battle footage, layering the information that FRIDAY had fed Ironman since the armor had far more sensors than anything else in the battle. Gradually, a clear picture of the mission emerged and Steve contemplated the actions of everyone involved. His instinct was that Ironman had moved out of position because he was not paying attention to the rest of the team. And that had led to Hawkeye being injured as there had been no one to catch him when he was thrown from the ceiling. But over the last two years, Steve had learned that feeling things in his gut was not the lodestone that he had previously thought. Relying on how he felt about something meant that what he wanted to believe could become easily confused with what was right. The reframing exercise he had been working on with Dr. Bortich had shown him another example of how his gut could be very off track so he decided he needed another opinion. After some thought, he called Sam and Vision. Sam, because Steve trusted him and Vision because of all of them, he was the least likely to be biased by personal opinions and he hadn’t been on the mission.

Once they arrived, he had them run through all the information that he had collected. By that time, he had been through it again and was feeling even more uneasy about the little voice that was saying that Tony had been irresponsible for not being there to catch Clint (See, he told himself, you stopped using their call signs. So you are definitely compromised). Vision and Sam were conscientious in going through the multiple films, reviewing the com traffic and sensor data. It took over two hours before they both were finished which meant that they had little more than an hour before the debrief.

“Well?” Steve started the conversation without indicating his thoughts.

“Ironman did save those three people who were trapped in the control room,” offered Sam, “the ones we didn’t know about. But he didn’t say he was doing that on the coms which is why you thought he was in position to catch Hawkeye.”

“However,” Vision spoke with his usual cool precision, “Hawkeye was being unduly reckless by moving as he was. If he had remained on the perimeter of the room, he would have been able to give you information, take aim at the opponents, and not risk falling. Also, I must point out that both yourself” (indicating Steve) “and Ms. Romanoff also moved significantly and did not relay your positions regularly.”

“So, everyone is kind of wrong here.” Sam summed up.

Vision replied thoughtfully, “I am not sure that I agree. While some of the members were not updating over the coms, they were fulfilling their responsibilities as outlined by Captain Rogers before the battle. I would say that communication was poor but I don’t think it was the deciding factor in Hawkeye’s injury. I would say that was Hawkeye’s recklessness.”

There was a pause and then, “Gotta say, I agree with Viz.” Steve was surprised to hear Sam be so positive, “Clint was way reckless and has been for a while.  It was in the back of my mind that I was doing a lot of catches, but seeing it like this. Yeah, neither Ironman nor me are there to be his pickup. And Ironman was right to prioritize the civilians. Most I can say for everyone, we need to practice our communications. But Clint – you have to talk to him.”

Well, there was the confirmation that Steve was looking for – the contradiction to that instinct (and he remembered Dr. Bortich calling it a habitual response). Because now he could confirm what they saw. Hawkeye had ventured into the center rafters, rather than remaining in the corners where he had some shelter and yet was able to oversee the battlefield and give them valuable intel. And now memories were flashing through his mind of Clint in action in the last 6 months as the archer tried to put his life back together and heal the rift with his family. Clint had been more reckless in battle, throwing himself (sometimes literally) into the worst of the fray. So what was he going to do about this? He needed to make a decision quickly; the debrief was less than 30 minutes away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who like to know the background:-)
> 
> In this series, the Accords led to an international organization for the Avengers. All of the superhero teams in the different parts of the world were gathered under a single umbrella which is headed by Director Falls. Each team may be called in by governments in its territories without UN approval. However, the Accords Committee reviews all missions and the Avengers can always refuse a mission. This set up exists because the over-riding consideration of the Accords was coordination in the event of an alien attack and because the UN always works as close to local as possible. It's just easier when people are familiar with the language and the culture of a place.
> 
> So, in this world, there is a Russian team, a Chinese team, a North Asian team (to deal with the tensions in the region), several teams in Africa and South America, as well as an EU-team that includes heroes from multiple countries. Within these teams, are smaller units that take on missions - like Steve's. There is also bureaucracy (which Steve hates) because how else are you going to coordinate everyone and make sure no one goes rouge?


	4. The Joys of Cognitive Illusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The briefing begins and ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that I did justice to the build up. Cognitive Illusions are those images that look like a candlestick and then you see they are also two faces.
> 
> Just a note that Falls addresses Rhodey by his military title since that is how he prefers to be called.

Since Director Falls was attending, the debrief had been limited to only the key people: Steve, Tony (as the UN Accords representative for the Avengers), Rhodes (as commander of the US teams) and Director Falls who headed up all Avenger teams world-wide. Due to the coordinated nature of the attacks, Phil Coulson represented SHIELD and there were representatives as well from the FBI and Interpol. The briefing was far more formal than those that Steve had previously attended and Rhodes had actually reached out to him to warn him about it. “All the big guns are going to be in the room, so it’s going to be very formal. I hate to have to say this, but wait your turn, Steve. They are working from a far wider viewpoint than your mission and you need to remember that.” Steve had felt irritation but he choked it down and gave a calm agreement. Once he was in the meeting, he realized that Rhodes was right. The majority of the meeting ranged over topics that were way beyond his expertise.

They analyzed the new group who had yet to declare themselves. There were discussions of political unrest and possible criminal gangs that Steve had never heard of. SEE (as Tony insisted on calling them – short for Santa’s Evil Elves based the dizzying costumes) had tried to coordinate attacks not only in Delaware and New York, but also London and Paris. So everyone provided some information. The results, as far as Steve could tell, were mostly “nots.” Not Hydra and Not AIM and Not Mandarin. SEE had unusual weapons but seemed badly informed about the new Avenger structure. A group, headed by Tony, pointed out that they had to have known. The new Avengers teams had been all over the news. The Interpol representative suggested that maybe it was a test to see if there was a weakness SEE could exploit. Tony (with Bruce’s help) was analyzing one of the weapons and was in the process of breaking it down. He wasn’t near finished but said that it sort of resembled the Tesseract weapons and sort of resembled the arc reactor while being neither and had an element in it that neither he nor Bruce recognized. That led to a gloomy silence.

When the discussion had reached the point where they were clearly going round in circles, Director Falls called a halt. He thanked everyone for coming and arranged for a sharing mechanism for any new information. He told Tony (who he addressed formally as Ironman) to make sure to share information on the weapon with all the present parties. Everyone agreed to the new mechanism and the gathering of papers, cups and jackets began.

“Captain America, could you please stay behind for a moment? Ironman, this concerns you as well.” Director Falls spoke up as the debrief ended. Rhodes was obviously expecting this as he had made no move to leave. Steve nodded and Tony sat back down, saying, “Something else going on with SEE?”

Having waited until everyone else had left the room, Director Falls replied, “No, this is a personnel discussion. The pilot on the mission was disturbed by the hot wash he heard in the quinjet. So much so that he contacted his supervisor and that led, by various actions, to me and Col. Rhodes. We listened to the recording of the conversation and we were both disturbed as well. JOCASTA, replay the hot wash in the quinjet for the event under discussion, please.”

“Certainly, Director.” The AI’s voice had a calm, almost Midwestern accent (and Steve did notice that she spoke to the Director). The recording began playing and Steve held himself from squirming by sheer will power. It had sounded bad enough in the wake of the mission, but hearing it now was far worse. He was relieved when he heard his voice command everyone to cut it out, but he had let it go on far longer than he should have. Listening to a recording, at remove from the adrenalin of battle, and knowing that Clint was only mildly injured, the vitriol directed at Tony was stunning. They spoke about him as if he was a supervillain, as if _Tony_ was the person responsible for the attack on the chemical plant, not like he had been fighting on their side.

When the recording was over, the Director turned to Steve. Director Falls had been chosen for his position based his long history of overseeing international forces on collaborative missions. He was a person of serious mien and was obviously respected by the Accords Committee; Rhodes had told Steve that Falls agreeing to be Director had allowed the Avengers Program a much greater leeway due to the respect everyone felt for the man. Steve had resented Falls for his position on enforcing the Accords, but the man had been nothing but fair and even helpful and now Steve had a grudging respect for him. That respect made the current conversation much more harrowing. However, Steve was not a person who avoided difficult situations, so he squared his shoulders and faced the director.

“Captain America,“ Director Falls was scrupulous in formal meetings in the use of code names to protect the continued privacy of those heroes who preferred anonymity, “I would like to hear your comments on the conversation that we just heard.”

“Well, Sir, emotions were running high after the mission and, for an archer, a shoulder injury is always cause for concern…” Steve could almost feel Rhodes becoming angry on the other side of the table and he didn’t even need to look at Tony to know that the man was rolling his eyes; he gathered himself and continued, “but their language and attitude were unprofessional and unacceptable. I told them to stop the discussion but didn’t feel the hot wash was the place to address my serious concerns with their behavior.”

“Did any of the concerns that they raised, however unprofessionally, have any merit?”

This was a more difficult question and, luckily, Steve had spent hours before this meeting on answering it, “Well, it is true that Ironman did not communicate position changes to the team,” he was sure that he was going to be interrupted at this point and was surprised when he wasn’t, so he hurried on, “however, neither did my team members. I only knew the locations of Scarlet Witch and Falcon because I had eyes on them. Since we were not regularly communicating our changes in position, I assume that Ironman thought it was not SOP and didn’t do it either. This is a problem that I am planning to address with my team in the next training session. We have obviously become careless about communications during missions and that needs to be corrected. So, I would say that concern had no merit.”

“What about the complaint that Ironman was not available to aid Hawkeye?” the Director’s tone was still professional and curious. But Steve could see that his previous answer had surprised Rhodes. Tony was at an angle to Steve and it was difficult to get a read on him, but Steve thought he was surprised as well. He was certainly unusually silent, although it was possible that Falls had warned him not to participate in the questioning.

Replying back to Falls’ question, Steve said, “It wasn’t Ironman’s brief to watch out for Hawkeye. I instructed Ironman to ensure that any civilians were gotten to safety and to check for and disarm any explosives that might be present. He accomplished both of those objectives. Moreover, after the hot wash, I carefully reviewed the mission and Hawkeye was out of position and recklessly exposed. Had he remained at the perimeter of the room, he would not have fallen. I asked Falcon and Vision to confirm my understanding of the situation and they did. In addition, Falcon stated that he felt that Hawkeye had become more reckless over the last six months, requiring more rescues. I haven’t confirmed that though.” He added the last bit as he needed to go through past missions to see if Sam was right. He noted in a distantly amused way that his response to Director Falls was falling into the same formal cadence that he had used when reporting to Col. Philips.

There was a pause as the other three men digested what Steve had said. Steve was aware that this was not the outcome that Rhodes, certainly, had expected. Guiltily, Steve thought that even a week ago, he would have reacted with strong hostility to even the suggestion that Clint might have been responsible for getting himself into a dangerous situation and expecting other people to get him back out. He most definitely would have supported his teammates’ negative attitude and have sought to blame Tony for the injury. And that opinion, Steve was aware, would not have been shaken by reviewing the footage. Rather than noticing that no one had been communicating their positions, Steve knew he was have simply fixated on the fact that Tony wasn’t. Dr. Bortich had warned him that reframing was a powerful tool and that once Steve started using it, he would find it hard to continue his old patterns. The therapist had compared it to one of those drawings that could look like two different objects; once you saw the alternate object, it was almost impossible to not see it again when you looked at the picture.

Surprising Steve, Falls’ next comment was, “Do you want to discuss how you plan to approach these issues with your team? Both Col. Rhodes and I have extensive experience dealing with problematic performance and would be more than willing to help.”

That offer actually made Steve feel better, to his own surprise. Other than yelling at Tony (and look how effective that had been) he really hadn’t had much experience with reprimanding his team. The Howling Commandos had all been more experienced then he was and had been professional. Any personnel problems had generally been with him. The time that he had been isolated in Wakanda and then wandering the world with his team had given them strong bonds, but also was making it hard for him to figure how to tell them they were wrong. After all, Steve reflected, I am about to tell them to stop doing something that I had been doing and encouraging to years. “I would very much appreciate your advice. I would like to review some of the past missions before then, to make sure that I see all the patterns, Director.”

“That certainly makes sense. Please reach out to either Col. Rhodes or myself when you are ready. I will expect that action will be taken in a reasonable amount of time, say within the next week?” Falls looked at Rhodes as he said this and Rhodes nodded his assent. “Very well, this meeting is over, gentlemen.” As they all walked out, Steve caught a glimpse of Tony’s face and he looked completely shocked.


	5. Might Make a Leader Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Director Falls have a talk about the Delaware mission

Steve was nervous; feeling like his body was a suit of clothes too large for him. It was a familiar feeling, one that had been almost constant since the day he stepped into Erskine’s machine and had come out into a legend. He shuffled the papers that he had laid out on the conference room table and tried some of the calming techniques Sam had shared with him. They helped a little. He glanced at the clock and saw that he had another 5 minutes before Director Falls was due to join him to discuss what to do with Clint.

After the Delaware hot wash incident, Steve had gone back and reviewed footage from missions for the last 6 months. Then he had asked Sam to do the same. They had met together to discuss their findings in the small living room that was attached to Steve’s bedroom – a perk of being team leader and a constant reminder of how everything had changed. When Tony had originally designed the Compound, all of the members had suites with small kitchens. But under the Accords, only a few people lived fulltime at the Compound so the suites had been redesigned into single rooms. And Steve could understand the efficiency of the redesign, but it was also a strong signal that Tony Stark now looked at the Avengers as merely teammates who got accommodations, not friends, not family to whom he gave homes.

Steve jerked himself out of the reverie and back to the matter at hand. Sam had definitely agreed about Clint’s recklessness and the communication aspect. Then Steve had done what he realized he should have done to begin with and asked Natasha for her opinion. He winced at the memory of having to apologize to her about not consulting her earlier; she was officially the second on the team. She had been surprisingly gracious about that and gave her evaluation of Clint. But she had let him know that he needed to pick up his game, “I know that hot wash turned into an event. However, the team didn’t say anything different on the jet then they’ve been saying for months, Steve. I have urged Clint to think but it’s a lost cause if you don’t say anything either.”

Steve yanked his mind back to the papers in front of him that showed the results of his investigation into Clint’s behavior, as well as Natasha and Sam’s observations. Clint had become more reckless and it was affecting the entire team. The problem with Falcon was obvious; Sam had been pulled out of position to rescue Clint in 76% of their last 30 missions as opposed to less than 25% of the time before that. Lang was the least affected (then again, Steve considered, he wasn’t affected by much). Wanda, according to Natasha (who was irritated by this) was highly distracted by Clint and divided her attention between tracking him and the mission, which, Natasha pointed out tartly, contributed to success in neither. She had also said that she had, on several missions, covered for Clint’s recklessness.  He could even trace changes in his own behavior; he had been (he was ashamed to admit) less likely to call Clint on his mistakes. The excuses he had given for this were all about how difficult Clint’s situation was with the precarious relations with his wife and family. But none of that negated, Steve knew, his clear duty as the leader of the team to deal with a problematic team member.

He had discussed the situation with Dr. Bortich who had reminded him of the conversation between Steve and Sam over a year ago about leadership and responsibility and their follow up discussion. The therapist had pointed out that one of the responsibilities of being the leader is making decisions that prioritize the team over a single member. If Clint was threatening the team’s safety and success, then, as leader, Steve needed to deal with the problem. Although as a friend, Steve might avoid the issue, as a leader he couldn’t. It was a difficult session; it had started with Steve having to admit that he refused to reprimand Clint for his recklessness and then descended from there. Dr. Bortich (who had an excellent memory) reminded Steve that he had no problem castigating _Ironman_ for being reckless. Steve had agreed with that and, under gentle prodding, admitted that Ironman had never endangered the team, just himself. Steve then had to answer the question of why it was so easy for him to tell Tony he was careless, but so hard for him to see that Clint was endangering the team. Once again, the answer seemed to be how he saw the two men. He saw Clint, first and foremost, in a sympathetic light that made him it hard to see how Clint was behaving badly and doing it consciously. After a great deal more prodding, he agreed that he saw Tony as challenging his leadership decisions by taking independent action which made it easier to see his risk taking as a bad thing and easier to attack him on it.

Then Dr. Bortich had asked Steve if he thought that ignoring Clint’s issues helped Clint. Steve had said that more pressure could hardly be good for someone who was already under so much. The therapist countered by pointing out that requiring Clint to be in life and death situations was by any definition an insane amount of pressure. He went further, asking Steve to really think through the implications of allowing Clint to act so destructively. What would be the consequences? Steve agreed that someone could get hurt or killed and that might be Clint. Dr. Bortich then pointed out that the guilt from such a situation would be far worse for Clint (assuming that he wasn’t killed) then being benched and undergoing counseling. He had then told Steve, in a kindly way, that part of being a leader was understanding that you dealt with bad situations even when they would make people you liked angry at you. Steve had come out of the discussion with the understanding that ignoring Clint’s very real problems had not helped anyone, especially Clint. And, more painfully, an even fuller understanding of how bad his previous relationship with Tony had been.

At this point in his musings, Director Falls came in. It said something, he thought to himself with morbid humor, that the Director coming to talk to him about a problem with his team was an improvement over his own thoughts. The Director settled himself and greeted Steve with his usual gravity. “I want to start by saying how pleased I am that you wanted my advice in this matter. It speaks to your character that you are willing to admit that there is a problem and to ask for assistance in resolving it. Now, I thought we might start with you articulating the problems that you see and how you are thinking of approaching them.”

Steve made himself not shuffle his papers and started, “I think there are two different problems and they need to be approached differently. The first one is the problem with communication and professionalism in the team; the other one is with an individual member of the team – Hawkeye. So, I was thinking I would deal with the team problem first…”

Falls interrupted him, “I wouldn’t advise that, Steve. Whatever you decide to do about Hawkeye, it is going to disrupt your team dynamics. If you first chastise the team and then single out one of the team for action, you will just have to call everyone together again to explain what is going on. I would recommend dealing with the individual and far more serious problem first.”

Steve nodded at Falls’ point, “OK, I’m actually not sure how to handle Hawkeye. I don’t want him off the team permanently. I would think counseling, but he has been through counseling before and it hasn’t worked very well.”

“Was that general therapy or anger management?”

“General, I think. It was at SHIELD after New York. I wasn’t in charge of him then so I wasn’t consulted. It was actually T – Ironman who told me. So, I’m worried that the Avengers will lose him and he _is_ valuable to the team and the Avengers.” Steve got most of this out in a rush since he was worried about how Falls would take the news, but he and Dr. Bortich had gamed it out and they had agreed that honesty was best at this point.

Dr. Falls paused for a moment to make sure that Steve had nothing to add and then spoke, “Sometimes, people find therapy easier when they have a specific goal. He has to accept therapy and work to reduce his recklessness or he is a threat to everyone on the team.” He continued with more seriousness, “You have been letting this problem fester without saying anything, so when you come down on him, he will be shocked. Normally, I would prefer to give people a warning and allow them an opportunity to improve on their own. But I am afraid that Hawkeye will get himself or someone else injured or killed so I think you have to pull him from the team and place him in therapy until he is on a more even keel. It is unfair to everyone on your team or working with them to allow him to be in the field. And that is what you need to tell him.”

“I know, but I’m afraid that he is so angry that he won’t listen and then we lose him.”

“That would be his choice and you have to respect that. Maybe have the Black Widow with you when you talk to him? They have a long relationship and mutual respect that may work. In fact, I would definitely get her advice on how to approach Hawkeye.” Steve mentally winced, reading a censure into that comment that Falls might not have intended.

They then turned to a discussion of the team-wide behaviors. Steve presented his findings and his conversations with Sam and Natasha, neither of which had gone the way Steve expected. Sam had agreed about the communications but both he and Natasha were resistant to the idea that the team’s discussions were unprofessional. Sam, in particular, surprised Steve by being much more upset over the fact that the hot wash had been recorded and that the pilot had reported them. He had complained about being held responsible for speech in the wake of a difficult mission when, as he put it, emotions were being fueled by adrenaline. Natasha had disliked the lack of privacy implied by the recording. He assumed it was the holdover from a lifetime of working for agencies with no accountability.

Falls listened to all of this and then commented, “I think you would have better luck addressing the team-wide challenges as a general lack of professionalism. Rather than bringing in the example of Ironman, which I think would derail the discussion; I would start from the fact that a stranger to your team, the pilot, found your discussions so unprofessional, he reported you. That way, you’re presenting this as a disinterested outsider’s view. That can make it less personal to them and more of a group thing.”

Steve considered this and then nodded, “That could work.” He was happy to have found a way out of the mess. “Although, talking to Clint won’t be easy. Having Nat there will definitely help though.”

There was a pause and then Falls said, “I hope you don’t mind my saying this. I know that you have been in a leadership position for small teams for a while now. But you weren’t ever given any training, were you? On the managing people side. If you had gone through officer’s training, you would have been given a lot of tools to deal with these types of issues. You might want to consider getting some of that training now. I could certainly arrange for you to attend some classes at the War College.”

Steve thought about the offer. Falls was right about the lack of training. Now that he had watched Rhodes and Danvers manage teams around the Compound, he could see that they were rarely caught off guard, seeming to always have an answer for the personnel issues they faced, or at least an idea of what to do. He had always been the leader in less formal situations and the new Accords structure was showing him the gaps in his knowledge. Dr. Bortich, he thought wryly, would tell him to consider it as a ‘new’ experience. “That…might be a good idea. Frankly,” he said with a disarming grin, “even if I had been trained, everything would be different now.”

They finished up soon after that with Steve leaving first to go tell Natasha the new plan. Falls stayed seated for a moment after the Captain left with a meditative air. The conversation had gone far better than either he or Rhodes had thought. Now, if this new attitude of Rogers remained while they separated him from his ‘adoring’ team and got him some real training, they might make a leader of him yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be Tony's reaction but then Falls wanted to talk to Steve and so...
> 
> Hey, do you guys want a follow up to the Wendy story?


	6. Gob-Smacked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short Tony reaction scene to the events in Chapter 4

“I don’t know what is going on!” Tony was rampaging up and down the room. Dr. Sorens was bemused by the passion he was exhibiting. “We went into that meeting and he just…rolled over! Admitted that Clint was wrong, that it wasn’t my fault…what the hell happened?”

Dr. Sorens finally spoke, “Are you surprised, disappointed or angry?”

“I’m what Jarvis always said, gob smacked!” his voice suddenly taking on a perfect British accent. The question seemed to settle the genius as he slowed to a more normal pacing level (he was so rarely still in these sessions). “I think I was…let down? I had prepared myself for a fight that didn’t come.”

“So this was an unanticipated outcome?”

“God, yes! When Rhodey said that the _pilot_ had been disturbed and that they wanted to have a meeting with Rogers and me and them, I just assumed that it was going to be a blow up. That Rogers would defend his gang and throw me under the bus and I was prepared. But…”

“That didn’t happen?” the therapist was eager to keep him in information mode. The price of dealing with someone like Tony was that he could think so fast you were left behind.

“No. I mean we heard the recording and it was _vicious_. Did I tell you about the mission?”

“No, I was hoping for an exposition scene.” That got a grin.

“We had a mission. My first with Team Cap since they’ve been back. It went fine, but Clint got hurt. Rogers wanted me to catch him and I did, but it was close. Because I was off doing something completely irresponsible, like rescuing civilians and he was swanning around on an unstable ceiling in a gun fight.” The words were bitter but the tone was not. The genius went on, “I went back to New York in the suit after the fight and they all flew back together and had a hot wash that turned into a bitchfest about me. It got so bad, the pilot brought it up to his superior, who sent the recording to Falls and Rhodey. Dumbasses apparently didn’t even remember they were being recorded.” Tony stood still with a lost look on his face, “I listen to it; it was played in the meeting. I know that we all had problems but I don’t understand how I got to be the worst person in the world. They don’t talk about _Hydra_ that way.”

“So, Rogers was participating in this ‘bitchfest’ and…”

“No,” Tony interrupted the therapist, “he wasn’t. Well, he participated in the hot wash but not the bitching. And he shut it all down, eventually.”

“By ‘shut it down’, you mean?”

“He literally told them to stop talking.”

“So he didn’t participate and he did tell them to stop talking, but not that the way they were speaking was a problem?”

“In the meeting with Falls, Rhodey and me, he said he didn’t want to get into it with them in the jet. Of course, he hadn’t gotten ‘in’ to it with them at all before the meeting. Although, he’ll have to now as both Rhodey and Falls are going to be following up.”

The therapist considered what to say next as Tony had taken back to wandering silently, “Tony,” she started gently, “it is perfectly normal for you to be upset and hurt by what people are saying about you. Especially people that you once thought were your friends. But I would like to remind you that, in this case, their vitriol probably has less to do with you than their own anger at themselves.” Tony turned to her and nodded for her to continue with a confused look. “They, all of them, choose the side in your disagreement that, for want of a better word, lost. They left a world where they were unique and had significant power because of that and came back to a world where they were no longer unique. They all sacrificed things that now they probably wished they hadn’t. You are not the author of their choices. But blaming someone else is always going to be easier and, the more their choices are proven wrong, the angrier they are going to be.”

His shoulders retreated a little from their hunched posture, “I know,” he sighed, “they’re angry and I’m the easiest target, but it still hurts. But it isn’t my fault and I don’t have to take responsibility for fixing it. See, I really am learning from therapy! Anyways,” he made a brisk turn on the rug, “Rogers is going to have to talk to them all about this and the fall out of that isn’t going to be pretty. Rhodey told Falls that he wouldn’t assign me as air support for Rogers’ team until this is all resolved, so I can go back to ignoring their existence.”

“Maybe,” ventured Dr. Sorens, “Rogers not participating is a sign that he is trying to stop these behaviors? He did shut them down and he didn’t defend them, so that might be a change for the better?” The constant hostility of Team Cap towards Tony had been a source of problems for both him and Rhodey. Dr. Sorens also knew that Tony, as he progressed in therapy, was feeling far less guilty, but paradoxically more aware of the scapegoating. Tony gave her a dubious look about Rogers’ change of heart which the therapist acknowledged was fair. “But give it a chance. If he follows through and he continues to act differently, maybe you and he could have a more productive relationship? That would make working in the Compound easier on you and everyone else.”

“I don’t think I could trust him again.”

“That’s reasonable. The man Steve Rogers showed himself to be is not someone to trust. But you have changed, so maybe he has too.” Holding up a hand, “I am not saying you should jump into a friendship with him. I am just saying that if he continues to behave differently, you might be able to build a collegial relationship with him.”

Tony gave a non-committal shrug and turned to other topics.


	7. The Clint Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can' even - just read it.

Natasha was somewhat conflicted which was not an unusual state for her. Between the training she received in her childhood and the understanding of morality that she had gained since then, there was always conflict. As the Chinese proverb said, a child’s life was a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. The marks left by her childhood were large and deep. So she had sharpened her skills at mediating the arguments in her mind; became skilled at playing devil’s (and angel’s) advocate until she came to a conclusion she could comfortably move forward with. It didn’t always work (and the ‘civil war’ was a prime example of a failed situation), but it did most of the time and perfection was not something that Natasha ever considered a possibility.

Right now, she was conflicted about Clint Barton. No, she corrected herself, holding to her principle of scrupulous internal honesty, she wasn’t conflicted about Clint. He was out of control and taking insane risks. He needed to be stopped before he did something that would truly ruin his life, like cause harm to his teammates or cost an innocent their life. So, she was all in for pulling him off until he got his head on straight and it was an even easier call as he would be out for several weeks anyways with a strained shoulder. He couldn’t fight as it was so he could concentrate on getting back his professionalism – at least he would have something to do. Clint did not do well with inactivity.

It was the fact that _Steve_ had been the one to not only identify the problem, but actually move on to calling Clint out – that was the issue. Steve never called them out (except Tony the honest part of her mind hissed); he would talk to them gently about mistakes. He would insist on more training to correct a weakness, but actually bench one of them? Natasha had never seen him even get close (not even with Wanda and she had urged…but no use going down that road). Steve was good on the battlefield and identifying where the parts were not working well, but this was more than that. This was Steve looking back and seeing a pattern of behavior and calling someone on it.

Calling out one of his favored teammates and that was the heart of the uneasiness. Natasha was well aware that Steve Rogers played favorites. He was mostly motivated by personal loyalty; give him yours and he would back you. He would still play you – although she doubted he was aware of that aspect – but he would not let anyone else attack you. Natasha had made a major effort to become one of his and she had paid a price for it. Although neither she nor Fury foresaw that gaining Steve’s favor meant losing Tony Stark’s, or the price that would be paid for that. She shrugged off that unfruitful line of thought (Stark was well beyond her now, with his therapy and well-founded caution of being used). Still, it was very odd for Steve to act as he had been doing. She had decided that she would have to bring Clint’s behavior up to him for him to act on it. There were few people who were important to Natasha, who she would manipulate for on a personal level, but Clint was always one. He was on the edge and she really didn’t think she could cope with him dying because he couldn’t get his life back on track. So she had been carefully preparing to approach Steve when the Captain came to her about benching Clint.

She had made sure to be gracious about the fact that he had consulted others before her (she noted it however) and had immediately agreed. But the scuttlebutt around the Compound was that Steve had already talked about this with leadership _before_ discussing it with her (which she really noted). In fact, she knew that Falls knew and that Steve was consulting with him. This was far from the man she was familiar with and was comfortable working with. It wasn’t that Natasha only looked at people as marks, it was that her comfort was based on knowing how the people around her would react to a situation. Someone reacting unusually disturbed her greatly. On the one hand, Clint needed to be stopped before he killed himself and now she didn’t have to initiate the action. That would make it easier for her to encourage him to get help. On the other hand, Steve was now acting differently and she couldn’t figure out why.

It wasn’t just the Clint situation either. He had been noticeably quiet on the trip home from Delaware until he silenced the bitchfest in jet (and Natasha didn’t blame him. That type of conversation when there were recordings and witnesses was not wise). He had also pulled back from the team during downtime. They had mostly hung with each other all the time, but lately Steve had been missing. He still came to movie nights and team suppers, but he was no longer spending all his time with them. Apparently, he was planning on taking some courses at the War College and was doing preliminary reading for that. He also was volunteering more to work with people on other teams. Natasha actually approved of that; it would increase their influence if Steve was seen as a trainer rather than as the leader of the Exvengers (as some still called them). She, in fact, had been the person to suggest that Steve do some combat training of the less experienced members. But now he seemed to be distancing himself somewhat from them and that was not something that could be allowed. Without Steve firmly at their head, Natasha was well aware the entire group would fray and split. She wasn’t in a position to survive it and land in a good position. She needed to find out what was changing in Steve’s head and then she would be able to plan out how to deal with it.

But first, she had to take set up Clint. She could have let him fall, but she needed him to succeed. Steve wanted to have a meeting with her and Falls in attendance to talk to Clint and she had said that she thought that was best. The meeting was scheduled for the day after tomorrow which meant she had to talk to Clint tonight. If she set this up right, Clint would go from untrusted renegade to agent who struggled with his demons and won – a good old-fashion redemption story. She grabbed her jacket and set off to meet Clint on the grounds. There weren’t many places in the Compound where one can get guaranteed privacy, but Natasha and Clint had found a place in the lee of the training center that had no cameras or mics and she had arranged to meet Clint there. It was essential that he be prepped for the meeting and understand her plan or he might ruin it and himself.

He was there when she arrived, although she still almost managed to take him by surprise. She accepted his hug as she always did. “We need to talk. I have a plan.” Quick and clear set up to keep him focused. She told him about the planned ‘talk’ with Falls and Steve; preempted him when he beganto rail, “Clint – they aren’t wrong. You’ve been off target and it threatens the team. Pulling you off makes sense. But I think we can turn this whole thing to our advantage. Use it to gain more leverage.” She laid out her plan. Steve had been worried about Clint being on the DL without anything to do other than therapy. It had sounded like a recipe or disaster. Falls had agreed and suggested that Clint also get involved with designing a program for scouting and shooting skills. When Steve had told her this, Natasha had immediately seen a bigger picture. “Clint, you work this angle. It will build influence – you’ll be a respected instructor, not a renegade. We need to solidify our position in this new organization and this could be it. But you need to get your head in the game!” Clint agreed and at the meeting, Natasha watched with concealed satisfaction and pride as Clint gave a bravura performance. She had him pointed in the right direction and focused on the prize. Now, she needed to find out what was going on with Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this came from. Natasha just hijacked the whole chapter.


	8. At Least the Coffee Is Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another character decides to weigh in
> 
> (Sorry it is so short)

Director Falls’ desk looked like a paper mill had exploded. This was not unusual although it still made him mutter about paperless offices and blind, optimistic fools. Not in his wife’s hearing though. She would have pointed out that he could be retired right now and bored to death. So his muttering was a secret vice that was confined to his office. It was actually not that common for him to even be in his office, which made the piles of paper even more annoying. He had a suspicion that others in the Compound migrated papers to his office when he was away; that his office had become the de facto storage for unwanted paper.

He was actually trying to get through the status reports for the US based teams at the moment. A routine and paper-filled task that required his attention and, often, his inaction. Most personnel matters were better resolved nearer to the problem so to speak and it was rare that these reviews gained him anything other than a headache. Nonetheless, part of being in charge was these types of thankless tasks. He had already reviewed the West Coast teams and noted promising new recruits (being able to produce names was one of his favorite tricks for improving relations with subordinates), as well as the resolution of a few minor issues. He had saved the East Coast teams for last as they were the thorniest, including as they did the founding Avenger members.

After a refresh on his coffee (and the quality of coffee in the US Compound was one of its most attractive aspects), he settled to reading the East Coast reports. Rhodes showed his years of officer training by producing clear, concise reports that carefully concentrated his CO’s attention to the most pressing issues and greatest improvements; it would have been a pleasure to read them if they didn’t so often contain problems. But this batch was almost pleasant reading so far. Rogers was working hard in his leadership classes and was showing promise as a trainer. Rhodes mentioned that Rogers’ reputation had improved and that Rogers himself was becoming more open to a diverse group. This was excellent news, as the insularity of Rogers had been very worrisome to Falls. Getting Rogers out of the echo chamber, getting his whole group out in fact, had been one of the major goals that Falls had set for Rhodes and it seemed to be working.

And it was not only Rogers, Barton had been very compliant with his therapy, both mental and physical. And the archer was showing a flare for teaching, working on marksmanship and intelligence gathering with a wide variety of students, including several from outside the Avengers organization. Falls was pleased by the diligence even as his experienced nose smelled an ulterior motive. No doubt, Barton was aware of the thin ice he was on and was working to create a more positive impression. Which was all to the good as far as Falls was concerned. If Barton wanted to improve his standing by being more helpful and professional, then that should be encouraged. Although Falls was sure that the Black Widow was behind the archer’s compliance.

He had great respect for her ability to read terrain, although she didn’t work well without strong management – no real self-confidence in her decision making ability outside a mission. But she would have seen the isolation of her group, and Falls was willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that she had also seen Rogers’ tentative movements into the wider organization. It was hardly surprising that she would then seek to strengthen her own status, separate from the group. But her work on intelligence and combat training were valuable, especially with SEE running around, and Falls would take positive actions as they came. In fact, if they came from self-interest, all the better. And he did appreciate her loyalty to Barton. He made a note for Rhodes to see if the two could undertake an intelligence gathering task on SEE. Coulson had sung that duo’s praises; time to see if they lived up to the hype.

That left only two of the group to be dealt with, and Wilson had never been much of an issue. In fact, he had been working with other groups almost from the time that rogues had come to the organization. Falls was fine with Rhodes’ recommendation that the former PJ should complete medical training for full EMT status. The commanding officer also signed off on Wilson’s request to work outside the Avengers with some of the organizations that dealt with the victims of disaster as a group therapy leader. Rhodes had noted that as Wilson moved farther from Rogers’ orbit, he seemed to be more independent in his discussions with Rogers and the others, more willing to voice unpopular opinions. Possibly, Wilson might yet make a second to a group leader, maybe even Rogers if they could keep the Falcon grounded in reality.

All of which left Maximoff who, after Rogers, had always been the most problematic. Volatile and badly trained, Falls doubted that she was even temperamentally suited to Avengers’ work. She was too self-involved, following her own emotions and not really thinking through the consequences of her actions. It would be far better for her to leave the Avengers and figure out what she wanted to do with her life than follow a career she was so ill-suited for, but the terms of her contract required her to continue to work with the Avengers for at least three more years. Falls made a note that, if the internal bonds of Rogers group were loosening, perhaps Maximoff could be transferred. If she was closer to a city, she could be encouraged to attend university which could give her a cohort her own age and a possible career path since she was never going to make a good member of the organization in the long-term.

Rogers, on the other hand, could be very valuable to the organization. He was a natural combat leader and his tactical ability had turned out not to be just legend and hype. In the field, he was excellent at reading the terrain and deploying his team as effectively as possible. What worked against him was his reluctance to work with anyone he didn’t know well and already trust, as well as his issue with being challenged. In a way, Falls really wanted him to work with Stark, although he knew that was unlikely. Still, he could see how they would complement each other so brilliantly. Stark was a master of strategy, but tactics would never be his strong point. He could see a solution only if it revolved around his own abilities; he just didn’t think in the field of everyone else’s role. On the other hand, Rogers was limited by his own conservatism. He needed Stark to force him to move beyond his self-imposed barriers. The two of them together would be a spectacular team; had been from what he could find of their work before Sokovia. But given the break between them, Falls knew he could only ask them to work together in an emergency, as with the first appearance of SEE. It was just such a waste.

He stretched his hands above his head and registered that he needed to go to pilates with his wife this week. Desk work was hell on his back. It was early though; he should be able to join his wife and her sister’s family for dinner in the city. Always a sign that his organization was working well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoyed this look at Falls?
> 
> I just don't get these characters hijacking my story

**Author's Note:**

> The exercises Dr. Bortich and Steve are discussing are in my other work "Steve Decides to Try Therapy" Also, please keep civil in the comments.


End file.
